Baldy McNohair

This post is not about weight loss, but is an interesting look at how hectic my life can be on any given day (join the club, right?).

Picture it.  Sicily Cincinnati. 2013.

A busy, distracted mother accidentally shaves her son's head...

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Yes, you read that correctly (Also,major cool points if you caught the above reference).  Here is a little background:

So, for the past few years, Tim and I have been giving Aidan haircuts at home with clippers.  You see, Aidan was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (a mild Autism Spectrum Disorder), when he was 4 years old.  He has a lot of sensory issues, which made taking him for haircuts agony when he was younger.  He would scream his lungs out and I would have to pretty much restrain him to get the haircuts done.  It was hell on the stylist, but I tipped exceptionally well for the trouble.  Kids cuts cost $4 at this salon, and I tipped her $20.   Basically, he did not like the sights and sounds of a hair salon and he has big issues with people messing with or around his ears.  It became such a nightmare, that we resigned to doing home haircuts.  He was fine with that because he got to do it in his own home, and he got to watch daddy cut his hair with the same clippers.  They didn't hurt daddy, so it must be ok.

So, last week I took Aidan for his first professional haircut in years, and he did a fantastic job.  It is amazing what a little occupational therapy and maturity can do for a kid.  Taking him, reminded me of the time I "ruined" his hair.  

It was a normal evening.  It was bath night, and Aidan's hair was getting really long. So, I decided it was a perfect time for a cut.  I got the clippers ready, and put the guard on.  I cut his hair.  All was well.   The next morning was a nightmare.  I was running a little late for work.  Things were hell at work, so I was very preoccupied and distracted.  Tim calls upstairs, "Courtney, you missed a couple spots on Aidan's hair.  I am sending him up.  Please fix it real quick!"  Great.  I am already in a hurry, but this shouldn't take long.

Aidan comes up and sits down in the bathroom.  I get the clippers and then I proceed to start running them through his hair to find spots I missed.   I run the clippers right down the middle of his head.  I then realize that I FORGOT TO PUT THE GUARD ON!!  Moron!!!  I was HORRIFIED.  I just stood there in shock and then tears started running down my face, looking at what appeared to be a reverse mohawk.  Poor little Aidan was so unsuspecting.  "Mommy? Mommy? What's wrong?? Why are you crying?"  I just whispered, "your hair."  The little boy reaches up to feel his head and feels the damage I did.  "MOMMY!! I WANT HAIR!! I WANT HAIR!!"  (I know it was bad for me to get emotional in front of him, but I couldn't believe what I had just done.)  So, I had to shave the poor little boy's head.  Completely.  In the middle of February.  In Ohio.  

This was the result.  He is blonde and so he looked so bald!  Now, I know in the grand scheme of things it is not a huge deal that a boy had his head shaved.  Some of you may do it to your kids all the time -- on purpose.  It was just a moment where I realized that I was far too distracted with other things at home.  My common sense had gone out the window.  I mean, as you can see by how happy he is in the these pictures, he didn't really care.  He got over it real quick.  I did e-mail his teacher though and explain that there was an "incident" with the clippers and that Aidan would show up to school looking very different.  I basically begged her to tell him that she loved it. Oh,and Tim decided to call him Baldy McNohair (thus the blog title).Aidan loved that new nickname. 

Now, I look back on it and laugh.  It was a silly incident that I hope never to repeat.  His hair was finally getting long again, so we went for that professional haircut.  Not ONLY because I am banned from using the clippers again, but also because I want him to learn how to handle things like going somewhere to get his hair cut.  You know what?  He did a FANTASTIC JOB.

Here is is during and after:

I Did It.

Ok, so over the past few days I have alluded to the fact that I had made some really good food choices over the holiday weekend.  This is exciting for me, because making food choices is something that I find particularly difficult.  I mean, let's be honest, making the wrong ones is the reason I am the size I am today.  So, get comfortable, cause this is gonna be a long post about food.

I began my Advocare Cleanse on Monday and almost didn't because I knew that I would be out of town from Thursday until Saturday.  I thought of how difficult it would be to eat clean when not in my own home calling all the shots.  I quit that way of thinking and decided that this would be the ultimate test.  I decided that it is finally time to gain control in a situation where I would normally feel totally out of control.

So, I took on the challenge...

Barbecue number one had more than pictured above to tempt my taste buds.  However, the two things pictured would have been the things that I overdid -- chocolate chip cookies and Butterfinger Puppy Chow.  I didn't touch them.    Other tempting treats included:

• Homemade Macaroni and Cheese
• Nachos
• Chips
• Cheesecake
• Chocolate Cake
• Ice Cream
• Hot Dogs

I brought a large bowl of tossed salad to share.  I ate it with a plain hamburger chopped up in it along with fresh fruit.  I was full and it tasted good.  To say I did not want any of those foods listed above would be a lie, but the important thing is that I did not eat them.

The second barbecue included treats such as:

• Lots of cake
• Barbecue Ribs
• Burgers
• Hot Dogs
• Key Lime Pie Cheeseball
• Adult Beverages -- something yummy and fruity looking, not sure what it was though
• Nacho Dip

What I ate:

The pasta salad on the plate was a healthier version that I made with whole wheat pasta.  I did eat one small serving of ribs.  I know it may not be healthy, but that is the one food out of everything that I never get to eat otherwise. So, I had a taste.  Not even a little bit sorry about it either.  I did try some of the salsa dip, but not with chips.  I decided to dip celery in it.  Delicious!

The pasta salad I made. It had veggies, whole wheat pasta, turkey pepperoni, and organic Italian salad dressing.

I am really proud of a lot of the decisions that I made.  We went out to eat and I ate well.  We went for pizza and I had a big salad with grilled chicken.  We went to a restaurant famous for fried fish (I mean, seriously, that batter would make a fried shoe taste good).  I ate baked fish, green beans, and a sweet potato -- no butter or brown sugar.  My mother in law made cinnamon rolls for breakfast.  I ate oatmeal.   I seriously rocked it!

This is what I learned was most important about the whole weekend:

My kids enjoying their meal.

Darcy playing in the sun.

Tim and Darcy Swimming

Darcy and my niece checking out some of the neighbor's fireworks

At these parties and get-togethers, it is the people that are important.  I found myself enjoying those who surrounded me a lot more, when I was not so focused on the food.  All of the stuff that was so hard, was not so hard anymore.  I just told myself to walk away from the table and to enjoy the people that surrounded me.  You know what?  I was right and it worked. 

Runnin' With the Corn

No,I am not losin' it. Although I do picture those food macots running around at baseball games. Like the hotdog versus the bratwurst... Totally seeing myself running with mascot corn right now. Awesome!  Ok,moving on...

What I meant was this:

I took a run near my in-laws' house this morning in New Haven,IN (a small town just outside of Fort Wayne). It was such a different atmosphere and I loved every minute of it. Everything was so quiet and I saw peaceful views like that...quite different than Cincinnati.  I also didn't mind trading in the hills of the 'Nati for a flat running terrain. I know the hills are good for me in the long run,but it was a welcome change. The biggest hill I had to run on was the driveway back up to the house. 

I also know that I said I would not blog until we got home,but I lied. I am sitting

on the front porch enjoying the breeze and cooling off. Figured I may as well say hello. It won't be long though,cause I am doing this from the Blogger app on my iPhone. So,this pretty much feels like I  am sending one giant text. 

I am just so proud of myself. Usually my suitcase is packed with merely good intentions. As in there are workout clothes in there,but they never get used. Today I used them. Yesterday,I ate like a champ and FINALLY decided to focus in the great people surrounding me as opposed to the delicious,yet calorie-laden food. I know that doesn't seem like much but even "typing" about it on my little phone brings me to tears. It IS a

big deal,for me. So while I still have a lot of weight to still lose,I am making breakthroughs every single day. I am finally proud of myself,which is something I have not felt in a long time. 

So,I guess I close today with giving you the challenge of making a new breakthrough...even if it is something as small as not going back for seconds. But see,that is small to me,but it could be HUGE for you! We all have very unique battles. Fight yours the best way you know how.

Sweaty me post run. If this gal can do it,you can too. Or at least this girl is happy to be a source of support! Happy Friday,everyone!

Happy 4th!

I hope everyone has enjoyed a happy holiday! We left rainy Cincinnati to be with family in Fort Wayne,Indiana. It has been a great day! I cannot wait to post about how great I have been doing with my food today. I passed on dessert today,guys. DESSERT! Who is this woman?

Anyway,we will be visiting family until Saturday,so I will likely not have a new post up until Monday.  Have a safe and enjoyable weekend,everyone!

So What? Wednesday

So what if...

1. I have a stupid sore throat and appear to be getting a cold in JULY!  Seriously? So what, shmo what....this pisses me off...
2. The humidity makes it impossible for me to have good hair.  Despite my appearance, I really DO care about the way I look.
3. The sunburn I got last week has caused me to peel and I am now left with pale skin again instead of a tan.  
4. I am doing a cleanse this week and really just want a piece of toast. Who craves toast?
5. All of my pets took a collective crap on the carpet the other day.  This is not typical.  Is this their way of flipping me off?
6. (Speaking of crap...) My son and daughter are now completely amused by yelling out words like "Poop!" and "Buttcheeks!"
7. I laugh sometimes when they shout out "Poop!" and "Buttcheeks!"
8. I decided to do a cleanse the same week I am going to two barbecues.  I is smart.
9. I have done the 30 Day Shred DVD so many times, I can now recite lines.  "I could always use a good chest fly in my life!"
10. I just organized my shoes on a shoe rack that my husband can see.  I now feel exposed, because he will no longer believe me when I say that I "need" a new pair of shoes.  
11. I was too worn out to give the kids a bath last night.  They can just play in the sprinklers today while playing with bubbles at the same time.  That should work, right?  
12. I consider choosing and purchasing a delicious watermelon as one of my biggest victories this week.  (You know you get excited when you open it up and see you got a good one!)
13. Speaking of watermelon, where was this all my watermelon eating life, and why did I not think of something so simple?
14. I am craving chocolate like crazy. Fat girl problems...

THUD!

Shhh....Did you hear that?

That was the sound of me jumping and landing face first onto the ADVOCARE CLEANSE BANDWAGON!!!

Truth be told, I have been doing a lot of reading on a lot of different blogs, and while opinions do seem to be mixed,the consensus seems to be that doing this cleanse has helped people gain more control over their eating habits.

That, my friends, is exactly what I need.

Any amount of weight loss as a result will be awesome, but if I can gain control over what I am putting in my pie hole, that will be the biggest victory.

So, I have to admit, everyone's recounts of drinking the fiber drink had me scared...real scared.  I was having dreams about drinking this stuff.  Thanks to everyone's complaints about the texture, I was having dreams where I was trying to drink it and finding objects in it like toy trucks and shit.  You think I am lyin'?  I'm not!   

The good thing about all of these horror stories of people gagging, etc., is that when I went to drink it, I would say that it was not that bad.  I went with some advice which stated that the peaches and cream tastes better than the citrus, so I ordered the peaches and cream.  I shook it up with some cold water and I CHUGGED.  I did not come up for air. It was a feeling I have not felt since old frat party days -- as in drinking questionable drinks in single gulp...perverts (Ahhh, memories...)  When I got it down without the feeling that I was gonna hurl, I felt victorious.  I could feel some of the grit in my throat, but I just drank another glass of water after and all was well.  

So, well, it wouldn't be a Advocare Cleanse post without discussing food and bowel movements.  I am going to spare you the last one.  I talk about poop with my 3 year old enough...kinda wanna break from that.  

ANYWAY... The food...

BREAKFAST:

Healthy Cookies from Skinny Taste  with a side of berries.  Yes, I am eating it out of a baby bowl. I like bunnies on my table settings, folks.  Truth be told, I wasn't that hungry after the fiberlicious drink I had a few minutes prior.

I got over that full feeling at about 9:30 this morning, so Darcy and I shared some celery with natural peanut butter.  I am so happy that she willingly eats my healthy junk.

LUNCH:

I had some of my grilled chipotle chicken with rice, sauteed peppers and onions, a few corn kernels, pico de gallo, and brown rice.  It tasted so damn good.  I knew that salad was on the menu for dinner, so I decided to go for a more substantial lunch.  

DINNER:

Taco Salad.  Monday is taco night in the Brooks household.  I was a little less than enthused about this because tonight, for me, it meant no form of tortilla or cheese.  It was all still really good though.  Just had a load of veggies with my taco meat. I didn't notice until after the fact that I am really not supposed to eat ground beef.  I am not that worried about it though, cause I bought the extra lean version.  

All in all it wasn't a bad day.  As with any new eating plan, I found myself obsessing over what I was going to eat next a bit too much.  I also felt hungry quite a bit.  The food I ate was good though, and I can honestly say that I did not feel completely deprived.  The biggest difficulty for me was getting all of that damn water down.  Also, I can tell I was having sugar withdrawal because I was having headaches.

Here's hoping that this is a worthwhile 10 days!

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On another note, I do plan to start Holly's 30 Day Shred Challenge.  I am going to try and do that in the evenings and my run in the morning.  Got both in and I am in agony feeling great!

Chin up, sweetheart...

This weight I am carrying is not something that just crept up on me all of a sudden as an adult.  I have been overweight for a long time.  When I look at old pictures of myself, I really see it start coming on as early as 4 years old.  By the time I was in kindergarten, I was fat.

Me at 4 years old -- already a little "chubby."

I was awkward as a kid.  I was clumsy and shy.  I had buck teeth, which later led to braces.  I had an odd sort of mullet hair cut, which later led to the frizzy poof that was so trendy in the late 80s/early 90s.  I had all of this and was fat too.

               1st or 2nd grade.  Diggin the hair...                                   Fifth grade

                                   Junior High                                               Junior high.  

In elementary school, I never really experienced bullying.  I went to a small, parochial school, so I was with the same group of kids (give or take a few) from 1st until 8th grade.  We basically grew up with one another, so that kind of thing just didn't happen.  I was also the "nice one," which sort of shielded me from mean comments.  Because I had grown up with this group of classmates, they did not say hurtful things because they knew very well how nice I had been to all of them all those years.  

High school was not great.  I was insecure about my weight and wished that I could be thin.  The problem is that I did nothing to alter my lifestyle.  Hoping and wishing was as far as it went.  I went to two different high schools because my family moved at the beginning of my sophomore year.  Mean comments mostly happened at the first high school that I went to in Indianapolis.  We had a strict dress code, so we pretty much had to dress up every day.  I wasn't wearing the latest teenage trends, because I could not fit into them.  Mean girls made some horrible comments about my clothes.  I would often go home and cry in my room...and then comfort myself with a hostess snack cake.   

Even though those people were cruel, I wanted to fit in so badly.  I was grasping at anything to make me look the part in a sense.  I remember that a local sporting goods store was selling these beautiful embroidered sweatshirts with the school name on it.  All of the girls were wearing them, and I really wanted one.  I will never forget the Friday night that my dad went and bought me one.  I was so excited!  I wore it to school for spirit day the next week and my joy was quickly ripped away.  The girl who made my life miserable pointed at me and said, "Look at her, trying to be like us! Isn't that cute?  I am surprised they even made one in her size!"   I felt like I had been punched in the gut with an iron fist.  Devastated, I went home and cried in my room again, feeling guilty that dad had bought me the shirt,when he could have used his money for something else.   I remember wishing that I could leave that awful school.    About a year later, I would get my wish...

My family and I moved to Richmond, Indiana.  I went from a small, parochial high school to a huge public school.  Even though I was scared of the new, giant size, it was actually a blessing.  I could more easily fade into the background here...just be another face in the really large crowd.  I made a few really good friends and that was that.  I don't remember getting bullied there.  I mean, there were a few occasional fat jokes made by a couple moron boys, but that was it.  I was my own worst enemy at this point in my life.  No one was giving me a real hard time, but I hated the way I looked.  I wanted to be one of the "cool kids."  I wanted to be asked to prom.  I wanted to have a boyfriend.  That just didn't happen for me.   You know the funny thing?  I look at pictures of myself from high school and there was nothing wrong with me!  Sure, I was a little overweight, but it wasn't an appalling amount.  I so wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self to ease up a bit and stop being so hard on herself. 

               Senior Year.  Sorry for blurriness.                                                      Junior Year

As I moved on to college and into adulthood, I really did nothing to make myself healthier.  I lost weight in college because of all the walking on campus.  No crazy drop in weight though.  I dated a little, but nothing serious.  It wasn't until I was near graduation that I met Tim.  I really almost screwed that up because I couldn't believe that he actually found someone who looked like me attractive.  I couldn't get it through my thick skull, but little by little, I started to believe him.

Now, I am 34 years old and still struggling.  I am just tired of the struggle.  It is time to stop playing these stupid games with myself.  I am ready in a way that I have not been ready before.  Ready in a way that I was not ready when I joined and rejoined Weight Watchers ten thousand times.  Ready in a way I was not ready when I attempted the various fad diets out there.  The time is now and I want this so badly.  

I know that I have mentioned her a couple times already, but my late grandmother was a huge part of my life and I have missed her deeply since her passing a few years back.  When I was sad and she saw it, she would walk up to me, pat me on the leg, and say, "Chin up, sweetheart."  It always seemed to make me feel better.

Well, I wrote a poem awhile back for one of my students with that very title.  I work with teenagers on a daily basis.  For some reason, even though I hated high school, I have placed myself there professionally.  It is because I want to help kids.  I see so many girls who have the same or worse struggles than I had.  One in particular writes poetry.  She wanted me to read her poems and they were all filled with self-loathing.  I decided that the next time she opened that tattered little composition book, I wanted her to read something positive about herself.  When she left her poems with me, I found a blank page and wrote a poem for her to find.  I am not a poet, but I felt compelled to find a way to reach her.  So, I am going to close with the poem I left for her that day.