Aug 28, 2013


Ok.  I am going to preface this blog entry by saying that I am not writing this in an attempt to be hard on myself and beat myself up.  I am writing this to be honest.

I am writing right now from the comfort of my recliner sofa...

After the kids are in bed, this is all I have energy for...or motivation for.  I am seriously just lacking motivation.  I KNOW what I need to do in order to get myself on the right path again.  I am just not doing it. Food intake this week has been less than desirable.  I have even started slacking on my blog-- something I truly enjoy doing.  I sit on this comfy couch staring at the screen -- unable to think of what to say...mainly because I have a difficult time keeping my eyes open...

OK!  Whining over!!  I have made a commitment to myself to recommit.  I know how amazing I feel when I am living a healthy lifestyle.  I know how being lazy is making me tired.  

Updates on my weight:  Since I began Whole 30, I am down 10 pounds.  I have not lost during the past two weeks, but I have not gained either.  

I am honestly looking at myself and seeing someone who looks slimmer.  I don't like what I see yet, but I am liking it a lot more!

I haven't been TOTALLY lazy.  We totally redid the landscaping in the front yard.  I was very active in this process.  It looks so much better!  I cannot wait to get some pretty mums for fall and put them out front.  It looks really plain now, but we also hope to plant when Spring comes back around.

My plan for the coming days?

Food:  I am not going to buy crap to tempt me.  I am going to eat the whole foods that made me feel good. No more sugar, dang it.  I have totally dropped the ball on that one.  Need to stop eating that crap.

Exercise:  I have made a plan with a few of my co-workers to get a half hour of exercise in as soon as the last bell rings at school.  It will still get me out the door and the way home by 3:30.  Score!  

State of Mind:  I really need to let go of the "I messed up once today, screw the rest of the day!" mentality. It is so illogical and harmful.  

Ok, well, this blog entry has been all over the place.  Congratulations if you made it this far.   It was good for me to write though.  Feeling better to have gotten things off my chest, but also to have laid out a plan for action.  I plan to give day by day updates next week as I try to get myself back on the right track.  Stay tuned!

I now leave you with something totally random -- but funny.  This made me spray coffee out my nostrils when I read it this morning.  I have a bizarre sense of humor, what can I say?


Aug 25, 2013

My Day

I have been writing a lot lately about how hectic my day can be and how that hectic day does not always mesh well with my desire to live a healthier lifestyle.  I have a confession to make though.  While I have been eating pretty well, I have not done a second of exercise since I started back to work on July 26th...not a darn second.  The most exercise I have gotten is walking up and down the stairs at work (my office is upstairs).  We have an elevator, so I do kind of consider it a victory that I am using the stairs instead.  ANYWAY, even when busy I can manage to still eat well.  I pack my lunch and buy healthy choices for dinners at home during the week.  I want to find the best time to fit in exercise.   Here is a look at my day:

4:50 AM:  Alarm clock goes off.

5:00 - 5:15:  Snooze button is hit a few times and I eventually roll out of bed somewhere in this time frame.

5:15 - Shower

5:30 - I get dressed, style hair, brush teeth, etc,etc.

6:00 - I go downstairs and pack lunches for Tim, Aidan, and myself.  I throw some healthy food (pieces of fresh fruit and a protein shake) in a bag to eat in the car while I am driving to work (breakfast).

6:15 - I wake up the children.  I typically get obnoxious and turn the lights on and sing them a song to get them up and moving...all while getting their clothes out for the day.

6:20 - Dress kids and get them their breakfast

6:30- Leave for work

7:40 - I arrive at work. (I drive an hour and ten minutes...icky poo)

Work Work Work Work Work.   I am not TECHNICALLY a teacher.  I am a counselor, but I work with kids all day AND I spend 9 years in the trenches as a high school teacher.  I am gonna throw this bit in here...cause it is funny and all you educators will appreciate it.

3:45-4:00 -  I leave work.

5:00 -  I pick up Aidan at daycare.

5:15: I arrive home, put my bags down, kick off my shoes, and head straight to the kitchen.  Please note that the first thing Darcy says to me when I walk in the door is not "Hi, Mommy!"  It is, "What are you making for dinner?"

5:20:  Getting dinner started on the stove, put water in the sink for dishes (We don't have a dishwasher.).  I now proceed to do dishes while cooking dinner.

5:45 ish :  Dinner is ready.  We eat as a family.

6:15 ish:  Table is cleared.  I finish washing dishes, clear table, clean the dining room and kitchen.

6:35:  I sit with the kids for a few minutes to talk about their days some more and get in some cuddle time.

6:45:  Bath time for kids.

7:45:  Get kids headed towards bed.

8:00:  Kids are in bed.  Darcy proceeds to get out of bed multiple times claiming she needs little things like multiple tiny sips of water.

Here is the window where I could exercise, but some nights I am just EXHAUSTED and have to really force myself to do it.  Typically, I do it, but some nights it just feels impossible.  If I do exercise, I am usually finished by 9:00.  

Left over time in the evening is spend catching up on TV shows.

10:00: bedtime

And then it starts all over again...

I guess I COULD get up at 4:30 and exercise, but I don't know if I have it in me.  Getting up that early is just awful for me...but I COULD do it.  I just need to push myself.  Otherwise that window between 8:00 and 9:00 is just gonna have to work.  The bottom line is that it has to happen, so I may as well just pick a window, you know?  

There need to be a couple more hours in the day... :)  How do the rest of you busy moms fit in your workouts?  I could definitely use some advice!

Aug 21, 2013

My Inner Kathleen Kelly...

"Who is Kathleen Kelly?", you may ask?  Well, if you are a chick and you like chick flicks, then you should know that THIS is Kathleen Kelly....

(No,Courtney, this is a pre-plastic surgery Meg Ryan typing on a really old apple laptop...)

No, reader, this is Meg Ryan as Kathleen Kelly in the great chick flick, You've Got Mail.

Anyhooo...what the heck does this have to do to with me?  Am I exploring a shorter, quirky hairstyle? Do I have a new interest old school computers?  Do I have a secret desire for an internet relationship with Joe Fox..err...Tom Hanks?  Nope.  

You see in the movie, Kathleen struggles with saying what she wants to say to people the moment she wants to say it.  She struggles with confrontation and gets tongue tied.  Then one day, when provoked, she finally says what she wants to say and feels bad about it. (I would include a movie clip here, by the way, but I could not find the one I want on YouTube.)   That is me. Exactly.  I hate confrontation and do not like saying anything mean to anyone, even if it is in my own defense or provoked.

Finally, this past week, I was provoked enough that I snapped.  A co-worker was mean, unreasonable, and insulting.   For the first time in my life I came back and told him exactly what was on my mind.  I did so in a professional, dignified way, but it was clear that I did not appreciate his comments and that he could shove his complaints where the sun don't shine.  He got the point.  Afterwards, I felt awful.  The thought of seeing him again made me sick to my stomach.  Well, the next time he saw me, he apologized for his behavior.  So, it worked, I guess.  That was a HUGE step for me.

Sometimes I think my lack of ability to confront others stems from my insecurities.  I can't really put a finger on the rationale behind that, but it is true.  I guess deep down, I feel that if I confront others (even if justified), they will say more cruel things that will make me feel even worse about myself.  Also, I hate when others are mad at much so that I am a people pleaser to a fault.  Again, something I need to work on.

Still proud of myself that I was able to make a step in the right direction.

Aug 18, 2013

Baby Steps

Yes, it has been awhile.  Work really is getting the best of me.  This time of year is like a school counselor's "tax season."  It will slow down by the end of this week, and hopefully by then I can be back to posting daily again.

I wish I could say that I have been doing well with eating and exercise, but I have not.  It isn't necessarily due to overeating either.   I am packing healthy lunches and not really getting to eat them.  I am so busy, that a lunch break is a luxury.  So, if I do get to eat lunch, I am eating at about 2:00, and then I am not hungry for dinner.  So basically, I am eating a smallish breakfast and a lunch.  So, I have been waaaay under my calories for the day.  This can be just as bad as being over in some cases.  I weighed myself this week, and I have not gained, so there is that at least.  I also have eaten a couple things I shouldn't have bread and a piece of candy here and there.  I knew I shouldn't have eaten them, but the old, "I am stressed and DESERVE this mini Snickers bar" mentality crept in.  Old habits die hard, and I am trying to look inside myself and find better ways to make myself feel better when I am stressed.

Exercise has not happened.  This is mainly because when I get home, I make dinner for the family, wash dishes, bathe kids, put them to bed, and spend the rest of the evening working on work I brought home.  Again, this hectic time of year will be over by the end of this week, so hopefully as the week goes on, I will bring less and less work home, and exercise can come back into my life.  I have tried waking up early to exercise, but getting up at 4:30 to exercise and then driving an hour and ten minutes to work is a recipe for a sleepy commute.  Plus, I find it damn near impossible to hop out of bed that early.

I wish I could sit here and type about how I am rocking my lifestyle changes despite the fact that life is hectic right now.  I wish I could sit here and say that I am using exercise to relieve my stress.  The truth is that I am not being hard on myself because I have not followed through the way I would have liked.  I am owning my shortfalls and hoping to learn something in the process of overcoming them.  This is a process and I am willing to own the tough times just as much -- if not more so than the good times.   Besides, if this were easy, I would have nothing to write about!  ;)

Aug 7, 2013


I swear I am still alive, but I am going to likely take a blogging break until Monday.  Work is beyond stressful for me right now.  I am exhausted and even bringing work home that I now have to work on --- instead of writing.

I look forward to getting the first couple weeks of school over with, so that I can take a deep breath and have relaxing evenings again.

Have a great rest of the week, all!  But before I go, proof I am still alive is below.  Although, my co-workers seem to be slowly trying to kill me.  

Aug 5, 2013

Wildcard Wednesday!!

 Welcome to Wildcard Wednesday!


The name of the game is #wildcard 
Stakes: A special PRIZE will be up for grabs the last week of each month
 Your link ups each week are your entries
Example: If you link up your blog, bloglovin and twitter you will have 3 entries each week
Disclaimer: You MUST be following your hosts in order to win

Winner of the June #wildcard {Won A $20 Giftcard of Choice}:


Rules of the Game: 
1. Follow all your hosts

Simply Clarke: Blog / Bloglovin / Twitter
Mal Smiles: Blog / Bloglovin / Twitter
All That Glitters: Blog / Bloglovin / Twitter

and co-hosts
Rhyme & Ribbons: Blog / Bloglovin / Twitter
A Few Days in the Life of Courtsie Ann B: Blog / Bloglovin / Twitter
Don't Judge Me: Blog / Bloglovin / Twitter

2. Grab our button for your post so that others can join in the fun
3. Link up using your Blog URL, Bloglovin' URL & Twitter
4. Visit at least 3 other blogs

5.  TWEET about Wildcard Wednesday using #wildcard 

Now make some new friends :) 

Or use the new Add link method ?

(Submissions close in 2d 23h 48m)
Link tool by

Or use the new Add link method ?

(Submissions close in 2d 23h 48m)
Link tool by

(Submissions close in 2d 23h 48m)
Link tool by

Aug 2, 2013

Who are you?

Happy Friday, everyone!  I know, I know, I have kind of been MIA this week.  First couple weeks back at work are always super busy and involve me bringing tons of work home.  My routine has been totally out of whack this week.  As luck would have it, the custodians are shampooing the carpet in the office today (to get things all clean before school starts), so I am not allowed to go in.  Soooo, the kids are at daycare and I am home and having a much needed Courtney day.  Woo hoo!  I NEVER get those.

I have decided to link up with Kimmy for the Who are you? link up.  It sounded like fun and I am too brain dead for fresh blog topics.  Soooo, here goes!

List 20 Random Things About Yourself:
  1. I lived in Quebec for a period of time during college.  I was studying French.  It was très cool.  No, seriously, it was freakin' COLD up there.
  2. When I was living in Antartica Quebec, I was walking outside and it was so cold that my nostrils froze together.  It was brief...but I nearly shat myself.
  3. Conversely, I HATE super hot weather.  Happiness, for me,  is weather that requires hoodies and jeans.
  4. I swear I don't always talk about the weather.
  5. I hate spending money.  
  6. I live at least an hour away from all my dearest friends and family.  SUCK!
  7. I drive a black 2005 Nissan Sentra.  I dislike it.  I inherited Tim's old car when he got a new one this past March.  
  8. I commute an hour and ten minutes each way to work.  Hey, it is either commute or be unemployed!
  9. I have a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor.
  10. My favorite TV shows are: Breaking Bad, The Killing,The Newsroom, The Walking Dead, True Blood, The Big Bang Theory, and I really like the new Netflix series Orange is the New Black. 
  11. Despite that long list of shows, I really don't watch much television.
  12. I still remember all the lyrics to the New Kids on the Block songs from my childhood.  I do, however, refuse to go see their comeback shows.  Kinda creeps me out that they are even touring. 
  13. I have a strong dislike for eating eggs -- in any form -- except for omelets when there is tons of cheesy goodness to cover up the eggs.   Hmm, gee, wonder why I am fat?
  14. Speaking of fat...My all time favorite flavor of ice cream is Buckeye Blitz from Graeter's. (Chocolate ice cream with chocolate chunks and peanut butter cookie dough)  BEST.  ICE CREAM.  EVER. Graeter's is local to the Cincinnati area, but they sell pints in grocery stores nationally, I think.  Do yourself a favor and buy yourself some!  Unless you are on a diet.  Like me.  And can't eat sugar.  Or dairy. Son of a bitch!

  15. I have an irrational fear of driving in ice and snow.  There I go with the weather again!  Maybe I should have been a weather girl.
  16. Fall is my favorite season.
  17. My dad nicknamed me Charmin as a child.  He started calling me this because he said I was a "butt wipe." (Poop and fart jokes are his forte...haha)  He said this in front of one of my friends.  You think she kept this to herself?  Nope!  By Monday, everyone was calling me Charmin.  Thanks, Daddy!
  18. Charmin has a Master's Degree in School Counseling. (So, she can counsel kids whose parents give them embarrassing nicknames.)
  19. I am a really good cook, but there is one thing I can never seem to cook well --- French Toast.  Mine is always gross.  I just don't get it.
  20. I am probably the world's best multi-tasker.

Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears:
  1. Death - Doesn't really need an explanation.  That can be the death of me or any of my loved ones before their time.
  2. Not doing right by my children.  Parenting is hard and I do my very best at it.  I just don't want to see my children struggle with something unnecessarily because of a mistake that I made.
  3. See #5.  I hate spending money because I am always afraid that if I spend it, then we won't have it in an emergency situation.  I am kind of always waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I know this isn't healthy, but certain experiences I have had in life have made me this way. 

Describe your relationship with your spouse:
Tim and I have a great relationship.  He always makes me laugh and is usually very encouraging when I am trying to accomplish something new.  Sometimes life (being a parent and work) prohibits us from taking time for ourselves and our relationship.  That is my biggest regret, but we get through it.  We understand one another.

List 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could:
  1. Things will get better.
  2. You are not as inadequate as you think you are.
  3. Stop hiding under baggy clothes.
  4. Stop hiding period.
  5. Sara will still be your best friend, even now.
  6. It is NOT a big deal that you don't have a boyfriend right now.  High school boys are me.
  7. Stop being afraid to drive a car.
  8. Study more.  Your laziness kind of sucks.
  9. Smile more.
  10. College is going to be awesome!

What are 5 things that make you happy right now?
  1. Family
  2. Friends
  3. The fact that I have today to myself to do what I wanna.
  4. My success with Whole 30 eating so far.
  5. Sunny days (had to end with weather...hehehe)


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