Jun 11, 2013

The Test

Dinner is eaten.  Dishes are clean. Kids are bathed and finally in bed after a long, active day.  I am tired and thinking for any excuse to talk myself out of my workout.  There are many reasons why I believe tonight was a test...

Test #1:  When the kids were in bed, I walked across the hall to my bedroom with the intention of putting on my workout gear -- which is otherwise known as flop on bed and stare at the ceiling while trying to muster the motivation to get up and go.  Why I decide to do this on my bed, I do not know.  As I lay there, I hear thunder.  Darn!  Can't go outside and run!  The thunder rumbles, but the rain never starts.  Well, there goes that excuse!  I tell myself that I will feel great afterwards and will regret not pushing myself, so I get my running clothes on and go down the stairs and out the front door.

Test #2:  As I run, I pass my chiseled, perfect tan ab having, neighbor.  He is an unfriendly neighbor and he is also running.  Immediately, I feel inadequate.  Immediately, I feel like I am unworthy to share the road and that I am being judged.  This was test number two because overwhelming insecurity washed over me.  I immediately assumed he was scoffing at my efforts.  The reality is that he probably couldn't give two shits about what I am doing and why.  He is probably too busy planning when he is going to oil up his perfect abs.  Instead of turning around and going back in my house, I kept going.   I did not glide down the road effortlessly (well, he makes it look that way) like he did.  I have less than great form.  I am gasping for breath.  My face is fire engine red.  Who cares!  I AM DOING IT.   Besides, neighbor man wasn't born with that body.  He had to start somewhere!

I know many of you have likely already seen these meme, but it still makes me laugh.  It was what I thought of immediately as I passed neighbor guy.

Test #3:  The hills, OH GOD, the hills!!  I live in a part of Cincinnati called Western HILLS.  The word "hills" was not added in because it sounds good.  There are an ass load of hills in my neighborhood...well, in Cincinnati as a whole really.  I got to that place where putting one foot in front of the other was a challenge.  Where it burned.  Where it just hurt!  I kept moving.  I kept telling myself to put one foot in front of the other, and I did.   I did not stop.  I made it.

See, I really did make it!  I am doing Couch to 5K.  I have made it through the whole 8 weeks before, but I made the unwise decision to do it all on a treadmill because I was too insecure to run outside.  Well, running on pavement is a whole other ball game, my friends.  Therefore, I have restarted Couch to 5K and am doing all of the running outdoors.   It is so much harder and running even a minute and a half at a time hurts.  I am going to make it though.  That is a promise I have made myself.

So, all those tests that may seem insignificant to some, but were big for me.  They are all things that would have caused me to make an excuse not to finish. I am just so proud that I kept moving. Yay, me!

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  1. I'm sure your neighbor wasn't even paying attention :) When I run I am oblivious to anything around me. It sounds like you are doing a great job!

  2. Thank you, Ann. I am sure you are right. It was just my insecurity taking over. :)

  3. OMG! Courtney! I posted that same picture once on my facebook page. I LOVE THAT Pic and am also positive is how I look when I run! Have you seen the plank and zumba ones? Equally accurate! lol. Good luck!! I'm right there with you and will begin blogging my journey next month! yikes!

    1. Isn't it hilarious? I love it. Seriously makes me laugh every time I see it! I have seen the plank and zumba ones too -- so great! Thanks for the well wishes! I look forward to reading about your journey as well

  4. Girl the hills kill me! I am just getting used to this and it is much different than running on a track like I was doing. So glad that you got past the incident with the neighbor! I always have thoughts like this but you know what? We are out there doing it and I am trying to stop comparing myself to others and just be in competition with myself. Just do better than I did last week. I love it when I see someone overweight out there running or even walking. I just want to run up and high five them for having the courage to get out there and do it and not care what others are thinking.

    1. I totally agree about being in competition with yourself instead of others. That is a great perspective that I plan to keep in mind.



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