It's interesting how when things become challenging in our lives, we tend to deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy. It becomes easy to say, "I stopped (insert activity here), because life got too hard. Doesn't that seem counterproductive? Shouldn't we gravitate towards the things we enjoy in order to better cope with the challenge? Why do we punish ourselves?
I stopped blogging. I loved blogging. I still love blogging. Sure, I would pop up on occasion with the "I'm back" post and then never write after that...until the next "I'm back" post. How silly! While I would like to start posting daily entries again, I know I may need to ease back in. I really enjoy blogging, so I will try to focus on it more.
I stopped caring about my health. Well, I don't know if I stopped CARING, I just stopped taking care of it. The effort just kind of went on the back burner. While working on your health is not always fun, I liked who I was when I was working to get fit and actually seeing progress. I actually HAD confidence! Trust me, confidence is something I have lacked for most of my life. I felt healthy. I felt pride in what I had become. Yet, somehow, even though I was HAPPY, I left that part of me go. I let it go, Elsa. I let it go! I want to find that part of myself again.
I miss who I was...which is kind of silly when you think about it. I miss MYSELF? I have always been here. I am the one thing in my life that I have COMPLETE control over! Why miss myself when I am right here!?! It is time to reunite my former, healthier confident self with my current self who feels like Jabba the Hut on a daily basis.
I find myself back at square one -- because when you backslide enough, where else are you supposed to end up? Certainly not ahead of the game...that is for sure.
Soooooo....I have two choices.
I can mope and feel sorry for myself. I can remain in the same rut I have been in for nearly 2 years now. I can continue to loathe my choices. I can hate myself and I can let the challenges in life get the best of me. Sounds like a party, right?
I can accept that I am back at square 1 and see it as an opportunity for positive change. I can do the best I can to become the best version of myself. While doing this, I will forgive myself when I make mistakes and learn from them. I can accept them rather than feeling defeated by them. I can allow myself to be human without completely giving up on my goals.
On another note I am going to start being MUCH more active on Instagram as well! I plan to share photos of progress, food, anything that could be needed for inspiration. One thing I love doing in life is helping others, and if I can inspire someone while I am trying to better myself, I hope to do that. I just want others with the same struggle to know that we are in this together and that although we may be strangers, we can still lean on one another for support. So, yeah, find me on Instagram! There is a cute little icon you can click on within this blog OR you can look me up! Search for me under courtsieannb! Browse, like, comment, whatever!