Finding My Voice

It has been too long.  I am not going to make excuses except that it is ALL my co-workers' fault.  The only time I can compose blogs is in the evening hours and they got me hooked on the show Scandal.  Soooo, I have spent every night for the past week watching back episodes on Netflix...instead of blogging.  I am sorry.  The show is like crack. I could not stop.  It was also a welcome escape because work has been stressful as hell.

I digress...

A few weeks ago, I blogged briefly about how my son, Aidan, had been bullied at daycare and how awful this had been for all of us.  Nothing is worse than knowing someone is hurting your child.  In order have a little extra help in my corner, I reached out to Aidan's martial arts coach.  They often speak about bullying at class, and thought that if he gave Aidan some tips, he may be more apt to listen.  He looks up to his coaches and having that bit of extra reinforcement would have to help.   After speaking to Aidan, his coach decided to give him a private lesson to discuss everything in more detail and to give him some self defense tips that would not involve fighting back.  When the coach began speaking to me about it, he mentioned helping Aidan find his voice...helping him be assertive in telling someone when how they are treating him is not ok.  For some reason this really struck a chord with me.  It made so much sense.  I started to think about how this applies to me in my own life...

Aidan with his coach after earning his orange belt.

So, I started to think of instances in my life where I need a stronger voice.   This is what I came up with:

The first is the voice that allows me to stand up for myself.   Unfortunately, I tend to be a doormat.  When people treat me unfairly or with disrespect, I often internalize it and don't retort.  I am one of those people that thinks of great come backs AFTER the fact.  I am often too tongue tied during, and am lucky to utter a single syllable.  I have been this way my entire life, and although I am getting better at it, I know it is something I will need to continue to work on.

I need to silence to voice that says it is sorry for every little thing.  You know what? Sometimes I am not sorry.  Sometimes there is no reason for me to be sorry.  

I need to fight back against the voice inside my head that tells me I can't do something or that I am not good enough for something.  This is unhealthy and most of all, untrue.  I can do anything I put my mind to.  So, the little bitchy voice inside my brain that tells me otherwise just needs to shut the hell up.  

It is time that we all found our voice.  Where in your life do you feel you need a stronger voice?