I lost what?

Well, as I stated yesterday, I am back a work and have paperwork piles taller than my 3 year old daughter to complete.  Therefore, the effort I would like to put into my blogs this week, is not present.  I have just been a little consumed with it all.   Nothing more fun than working a full day and then bringing the work home!

I wanted to post at least a little something today, so I thought I would talk a little bit about the "i LOST what?" website.  It is a pretty simple concept, but actually kind of fun.  You just put your weight in and it tells you what that is equivalent to.   Last week, it told me that my total weight lost was equal to a case of circus peanuts. Does anyone even eat those anymore?

Now that I have a total of 12 pounds lost, I decided to see what my new result was.

Drum roll please....

Patriotic weight loss this week, Courtney!  Well played...

Go check it out!  It really is pretty amusing.  

On another note, I am still plugging through with the Whole 30 program.  I am really bored with food though. I need to find and plan for some new recipes. The thing is that I am not overeating because I am so disinterested in my food options...just shows how dependent I have been on pasta and the like.  I am not giving up.  Just need to try harder to find new recipes.  

That's it for today!  Back to the toddler sized pile of paperwork!

The Grind

I am back at work full time this week! Blah... Typically I write my posts the night before,but it just did not happen last night,sorry. I brought a stack of paperwork home that consumed my evening. 

I appreciate everyone's encouragement in response to yesterday's post. I have some great readers! I am not able to post anything of substance today,but I will be back at it tomorrow!

Happy Tuesday!

Hot Diggity Damn!

This past week has been interesting, to say the least.  I began the Whole 30 program with the hope that it would help me lose the weight that has not wanted to come off...at all...for weeks.  I wrote a couple weeks ago about my health related issues that I felt were inhibiting my weight loss, and when I found the Whole 30 program, I was hopeful that it would be the answer.

Well...

Before I began the program, I weighed in (on Sunday) at 255.8 pounds. (I had gained between my last weigh in.)  I weighed in this week at a whopping 247.6 pounds!!!   If my really crappy math skills are correct, that is a loss of 8.2 pounds!!!  I literally stepped on and off the scale 3 times just to make sure I wasn't seeing things.   I am sure a lot of this is water weight, and I don't expect huge losses like this on a weekly basis, but I will take it!

For anyone who is interested in the Whole 30 Program or primal eating, I thought I would give my impressions so far..

THE FOOD
I am not going to lie.  There are times (especially in the beginning) where I miss eating things like bread and rice.  Things like not having a sandwich as a "go to" lunch or not having a side of toast with my eggs is just bizarre for me, but I am getting more and used to it.   I know this is early on, but I am to the point where I don't really miss sugar all that much.  The only hard thing is that there are so many foods that have sugar in them -- foods that we would never even suspect.  That is the part that makes the lack sugar hard, but not the lack of candy bars, surprisingly.  

My mindset towards food is changing too.   In the past, I have been a volume eater.  I thought I needed huge portions to be satisfied.  I have found that I can put smaller portions on my plate and be totally satisfied with that.  I am no longer at the point where I want to be stuffed.  I want to be satisfied.  I don't want to be hungry anymore.  Once that satisfied feeling hits, I am happy and can stop eating -- even if there was just a little bit on my plate.  That is a BIG DEAL for me.  

What are some of my favorite foods?

I love making stir fries.  I did a great one loaded with chicken and veggies and made a sauce with a little orange juice, chicken broth, and cashew butter.  It is really tasty.

My favorite thing right now is cashew butter.  Granted, it is high in calories, but I enjoy eating it with celery and use it for my stir fry sauces.  I have actually become a little too obsessed with the idea of making my own nut butters.  Here is proof:

I forced my poor husband to have an entire conversation with me about the joy of making your own cashew butter.  He tried to seem interested.  I'll bet he really does think it is "neato."  hehehe

THE WAY I FEEL

I feel great!  I always felt so bloated before, and now I feel like has stuck a pin in me and I am slowly starting to deflate. I feel more alert and have so much more energy!  It is incredible.  I can't wait to exercise this week and see if my energy during my runs, Jillian videos, etc is greater.  I only got in a few days of workouts this past week (I will explain.), so I am interested to see the difference.

The downside to all of this is that I got the dreaded carb flu or keto flu.  I didn't even know this existed!  I was miserable because my body is having to process all this healthy stuff and saying, "Say whaaaaa? You think you can just put delicious sugar and bad carbs in me all those years and I am just gonna take that?!! Pfffffft."  If you don't know what the Keto Flu is, apparently it is your body's reaction when it is forced to burn ketones and actual fat instead of glucose.  Cause, you know, glucose is in abundance when we load up on sugar and other carbs.  Basically, your body is forced to produce new enzymes to do things differently, which makes us feel flu-like symptoms.  During the day on Thursday, I was miserable...mostly due to extreme nausea.  I found that eating more protein really helped me feel better, and I felt a million times better by Friday.

I am really glad I decided to do this!  It is challenging, but is getting easier each day.  I am linking up with Motivation Monday today, because I feel so great, I can't help but be motivated!

Recipe: Cabbage Rolls - Whole 30 Style

I am now entering my 4th day of the Whole 30 program.  While I am still feeling a bit hungry and experiencing cravings, I am doing well over all.  I have really learned about what impulses got me to this weight to begin with, that is for sure!  So far, so good though.

When lunch time rolled around yesterday, I could not stand the thought of another spinach salad.  I just wanted something different from the norm.  So, I went to the fridge and assessed what I had on hand.  I noticed a pound of extra lean ground beef and a head of cabbage.  Cabbage rolls!!

I got to work and literally just threw this recipe together and it was yummy and very satisfying.

I was only making a single serving of this, so I pulled 3 large cabbage leaves from the head and put it in a pot with a shallow amount of water.  I brought the water to a boil, put a lid on the pot, and steamed the cabbage.

Traditionally, cabbage rolls have rice mixed in to the meat filling.  Since rice is a Whole 30 no-no, I decided to mix some extra veggies in with the meat.  I chose mushrooms, celery, carrots, and onion.  I diced them up pretty small.

I cooked 4 ounces of the lean ground beef in a pan along with the veggie mixture.  

When the meat is finished set aside and begin making your tomato sauce.  It isn't pictured, because I forgot to photograph that step.  Whoops!  All I did was take a half a cup of tomato puree and added in spices to my liking.  I chose to use garlic powder, chili powder, and a little cayenne pepper.  

By the time the sauce and meat are finished, the cabbage leaves should be nicely steamed.  Take out a leaf and fill it with one third of the meat filling.  I also put a little sauce on top.  Then, roll it up!

When all the cabbage rolls are...well...rolled, put them in a baking pan.  I put some sauce on the bottom of the pan before putting the rolls in, and then topped each roll with sauce.  Then, I popped it in a 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes.

This was my yummy result!  It was a nice change of pace for lunch and I loved it because I could easily make a single serving.  

Ingredients (for single serving):

• 3 large cabbage leaves
• 4 ounces of extra lean ground beef or turkey
• 1/2 cup tomato puree (I used organic). Tomato sauce would also work great here, but I only had the puree on hand. 
• veggies for filling -- You can use anything, but I used onion, mushroom, celery, and carrot.  I eyeballed the amount.
• spices for the sauce -- Again, use what you like.  I used garlic power, cayenne pepper, and chili powder.

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350.
2. Steam cabbage leaves in a pot with a small amount of water.  You want to steam -- not boil.
3. Cook your meat and diced veggies in pan until meat is browned.
4. Prepare sauce:  Mix the tomato puree with the seasoning of your choice.
5. Remove cabbage leaves from the pot.  Pat dry with paper towels.  
6. Prepare your baking dish by spreading some sauce on the bottom of the pan.
7. Fill cabbage leaves with meat filling and a little sauce and roll -- kind of like you are rolling up a burrito.
8. Place rolls in pan.
9. Top rolls with the rest of the sauce.
10. Bake for about 20-30 minutes

Calories: 283

Fat: 4 grams

Carbs: 34 grams

Today, I am linking this recipe up with Amy at The Diary of a Fat Mommy!

12.5%

Body image is such a strange thing.  It is crazy how we view ourselves so differently than others do.  As many wise people have said many times before, we are our own worst critic.

I have always beat myself over my appearance.  Phrases like, "But you have such a pretty face," were not comforting.   So, recently, I came across a blog entry at V Watt's Thoughts that I found incredibly interesting. It was a little survey through the website of a British clothing store called Marisota.  It gives you a row of women with different figures and asks you to choose which one most closely resembles you.  You then put in your measurements, and it tells you whether or not your body choice was accurate.  Well, mine wasn't...

Here were my results:

I am still having a hard time believing this.  I didn't have to measure belly or arm fat, so I guess add some of that on to the model above.  I encourage you to try this out.  It was kinda fun, actually...and you may be surprised too. I have always thought I was bigger than I am.  No matter how much weight I lose, I go for the bigger size.  I like to go shopping with my friend, Sharon, for this reason, because she always tells me, "Are you serious? Try on the smaller size, Court!"  You know what? She is right 90% of the time.

This all kind of reminds me of the only time I was told I did not weigh enough...not sure why, but I am going to tell the story anyway...

I was pregnant with Darcy and I went in for one of my monthly doctor visits.  The doctor and I had a conversation that sounded like this...

Doctor V:  "Everything looks good with the baby, but there is one issue."

Me:  "What?"

Doctor V:  "You aren't gaining enough weight.  You need to eat more."

Me: "Come again?"

Doctor V: "You need to eat more food, Courtney.  You haven't gained enough for this stage in your pregnancy."

Me:  "Oh, no, I HEARD you.  I just wanted you to say it again.  I am pretty sure that is the ONLY time anyone has ever or will ever say that to me in my life.

Pretty sure I went home that night and insisted that Tim take me to Graeter's for a double scoop of black raspberry chip ice cream.  Ahh, memories...

But, I digress...

I've just gotta say...We need to try and stop being so hard on ourselves.  You are who you are. Changes will come if you do the work to make the changes a reality.  No one can force us to like ourselves, and honestly there are always going to be things about ourselves that we don't like, but we have to stop being so harsh.  I need to work on this too.  My body may be flabby right now, but it is strong.  I feel more like an athlete than I ever have in my life -- even if I don't look like one yet (as in to the unknowing eye, I don't look the part yet).  I am one, because I FEEL like one.  I am proud of that.

Take the quiz and let me know your results!

Goin' Primal

I am trying to think back to why I decided to blog, and the biggest reason was to journal what is going on in my life -- especially with my efforts to get healthier.  It also kind of held me more accountable, because I had readers watching me as I try and fail at my efforts.  I started with no followers, and have worked my way up...but I put just as much heart into what I write now as I did in the very beginning.  

What I didn't realize when I entered the blogging scene, is how many great people I would "meet."  I did not realize the great advice and resources that people had to offer.  Those resources are what have brought me to this blog post today.  

I posted last week about my frustration when it came to my lack of weight loss on the Advocare Cleanse.  I was so encouraged by the kind words and advice that some of my reader friends offered me.   One piece of advice was offered by Gwen, at Sky N Surf.  She suggested primal eating/getting rid of grains in my diet. (If you have not visited her blog, do it.  She offers a wealth of information on primal eating and how it has impacted her life.)  I took the advice seriously, but was seriously doubting whether or not I could live without grains in my life.  Grains are a pretty consistent part of my diet.  Despite my doubts, she sparked my interest, so I decided to look into it further.  

I decided to consult the experts and came across some information about Whole30.  I was hooked after reading the first paragraph.  It started out asking questions about certain symptoms that you experience in your daily life.   They listed the following:

• inconsistent or non-existent energy levels
• unexplained aches and pains
• irregular periods
• ovarian cysts
• inability to lose weight no matter how hard you try
• skin issues (eczema)
• seasonal allergies
• fertility issues

HOLY CRAP!  Did they write that checklist ABOUT ME?  ALL of those symptoms (with the exception of fertility issues) describe me and all I have been battling with for the past several years.  Certain foods (even the supposed healthy ones) can cause inflammation in our bodies while slowing our metabolism.  

So, what is Whole 30? Well, basically it is a 30 day program where you eliminate dairy, grains, and sugar from your diet completely in order to rid your body of the inflammation that is causing the problems.  This is going to be rough.  I am on my second day, but feel like I am starving.  It is worth it to me to get to the bottom of my health concerns.  Could food have been causing it all of this time?     The Whole30 eating plan is basically Paleo.  I do believe though that when this is over, I will do primal eating -- which includes dairy.  I really do not want to get rid of dairy -- unless it is the culprit behind my health issues.  

In order to be better informed, I ordered the book It Starts with Food by Melissa and Dallas Hartwig -- the two behind Whole30.  It arrives in the mail today and I cannot wait to begin reading.

There are also free resources on the official website.  It includes a shopping list and basic meal planning template.

Even though I only just finished my first day of this, I never realized how much I was putting into my mouth without even realizing it.  I was making a sandwich for Darcy today and got peanut butter and jelly on my finger and nearly licked it off.  I almost ate a few Cheetos.  The list goes on. The sad part is that I wasn't thinking that I wanted a Cheeto.  It was like I was on autopilot.  They were there, so naturally they belong in my belly.  Luckily, I caught myself before I had orange stained Cheeto fingers.  

Also while on my grocery trip from hell Sunday, I learned how many items have sugar in them...items you would never think required sugar...even canned tomatoes, for Pete's sake. I knew buying salad dressing without sugar would be damn near impossible, so I am going to make my own at home with oil and vinegar.  

Here was my food for yesterday:

Breakfast:  Eggs with onions and green peppers and a side of berries.  It was SO HARD eating eggs without a side of toast.  I also would have slapped some cheese on the eggs too.  So, it was...different.  I have just never been a fan of eggs, but I need the protein. Not bad though.  

Lunch:  Spinach salad with grilled pork loin, tomatoes, cucumbers, celery, cashews, and homemade dressing (red wine vinegar, olive oil, and dijon mustard).  Disregard the Cheeto bag in the background -- those are Darcy's.  Sure some of those crumbled up on my salad would have been awesome though.  ;)

Dinner: Not pictured cause I forgot...oops!  Monday night is Taco Night, so I went with a taco salad sans any kind of chips or dairy.  Basically, taco meat and lots of veggies.  It was not great, honestly.  I am going to have to think of a yummier, more satisfying alternative on taco night.

Snacks:  Cashews, Cashew butter with celery, and watermelon. Cashews are gonna be my friend, I think. Doesn't taste the way you want?  Throw some cashews in there!  Bam!

I will be sure to continue to post how things are going as I move through these 30 days.  On top of this I am also participating in the Operation Skinny Jeans fit camp.  More on that later!

Le Weekend

Phew!  This weekend went by so quickly.  I did not have any extraordinary plans, but I thought I would do a recap...because it is my blog and I can do what I wanna.  ;)

Saturday:

We went to Fairfield, Ohio to Jungle Jims.  When we first moved to Ohio, we lived in Fairfield and we lived in an apartment that was walking distance from this place.  Jungle Jims is an enormous international market. It is pretty much awesome.  If you ever get the opportunity to go, do yourself a favor and go during the week. Going on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon is pretty much enough to help you get one foot closer to going completely crazy, but the weekend is really the only time I can make it there.

This place sells food from all regions of the world.  My favorite section is the large health food section and the produce section.  My kids and husband prefer the variety of candy available in the candy section.  It is just an experience all together.

This photo of Jungle Jim's International Market is courtesy of TripAdvisor

This photo of Jungle Jim's International Market is courtesy of TripAdvisor

This is one shot of the outside, but it doesn't really do it justice.  I borrowed a pic from Trip Advisor, because I did not think to take any outdoors pictures until it was too late.

This photo of Jungle Jim's InternationalMarket is courtesy of TripAdvisor

This is just one wall of the enormous cheese section.  There are cheeses from EVERYWHERE.  Some smelly, some not.  There are always samples available too.

This is the back wall near the international section.  They have little shop fronts for different countries.  There are larger aisles for food too, but this is more for ambiance I think.  There is even a little theatre where you can watch the story of Jungle Jims...if you want...

Approaching the Asian market section.  Lots of great stuff here, for some super yummy Asian cooking.

The giant produce section.  I bought the best strawberries I have ever eaten in my life here last season.

\

No trip is complete without watching the Elvis bear perform Jail House Rock in the candy section. Darcy is watching in awe from the cart.

The giant Campbells Soup can.  They swing back and forth and talk.  There are many things like this around the store.

We don't do our regular grocery shopping here, because it is too chaotic on the weekend.  We usually stop by for some specialty items...especially in the vast alcohol section.  I also usually pick up some health food items that are difficult to find in a regular store.  It really is an experience and I recommend it if you are ever in the Cincinnati area.  Even the restrooms are awesome!

The outside looks like port-o-potties, but when you go in, it is a nice, fancy public restroom...nicely decorated and everything.

Sunday:

Sunday was not the best of days.  Sunday sucked, to be frank.  Tim and Aidan went to King's Island and left us girls at home -- which was fine.  I thought it would be a good idea for Darcy and I to go get grocery shopping finished while the boys were out.  I was wrong.  Bad idea, Courtney, bad!

Look at this face:

It is freakin' adorable.  I have a cute kid.  Well, all cuteness went out the window during our shopping trip. While getting the food, she was a little bit of handful, but nothing I could not manage.  She was misbehaving though.  Then we got to check out and all hell broke loose when I told her that she could not have candy because she was not a good girl during the shopping trip.  I am sorry, but I refuse to reward her for bad behavior.  She threw a major tantrum while waiting in line.  She saw I was not budging, and after a lot of screaming, she got over it.  The it is my turn to check out.  She sees the little impossible claw game...you know, the one that no one ever wins that pays out with craptastic stuffed toys?  She wanted to play that and went on to have major tantrum #2 over that.   All of this was bad enough, but then the check out guy, just HAD to put his two cents in.  He went on to give me gems such as this as I was waiting for his slow ass to check me out.  

• "My kid never acts like that."
• "I bet I could calm her down." (No, you can't, sir, because you are scary.)
• "I hate when kids act like this."
• "People are leaving this line, and I bet it is because of your kid." (No, because you are S-L-O-W)
• "You should just give her the money to play the game."
• "You probably should not have brought her to the store.  Leave her home next time."

Meanwhile, he was checking me out so sloooooowly, I just wanted to lose it.  I swear.  So slow.  Then he had to do a price check on something.  I just looked at him and said, "Sir!! Forget it!! I don't need the ground beef that badly!"  He ignored me and continued to be slow.  Then he actually said, "I am working slow today."  REALLY?? I HADN'T NOTICED!!!

Finally he finished, I paid, and I took the walk of shame out of the door with my sobbing kid.  Trying to carry a sobbing 3 year old while pushing a full shopping cart is not easy, by the way.  Kids throw tantrums in public.  It happens and any parent who says it hasn't happened is a liar.  I was just so angry at Mr. Cashier Guy.   She was having a bad day.  She continued to have a bad day for the remainder of the day, and I was never so glad to see bedtime come.  

BUT ON A POSITIVE NOTE...

Tim took Aidan to Kings Island and they rode several roller coasters.  Some of them were big ones that Aidan had not ridden.  Tim asked Aidan if he was scared.  Aidan looked at Tim and said, "No, because I'm a MAN!"   Then, he did this:

Consider this the first flex break on my blog.  I love this kid.  Love both my kids more than life itself.  Aidan just has such a kind, loving, happy spirit.  I am looking at this picture right now and just wanna go upstairs, get him out of bed, and hug him until the cows come home.  

So, yes, that was my weekend.  Starting a new eating plan this week.  Will give all the goods tomorrow!

Whiplash

Ok, so, today there are many small topics that I wanna touch upon.  So many, I'm gonna give you whiplash! Kapow!  Well, maybe not, but I am gonna to some topic jumpin'.  Just a warning.

Letters of Encouragement:

Let's say you are struggling with something in your life right now.  How much would a surprise letter in the mail to encourage you and get through your struggle brighten your day?  Probably a lot, right?  One of my favorite blogger buddies, Jacqui, is starting an encouraging letters project.   Her goal is to help make some days a little brighter.  Who can argue with that?  If there is enough interest, she hopes to turn it to a letter exchange.  Check out her blog today to see how you can get involved!

Progress Pictures:

I have written a couple times this week about how the scale was not moving for some unknown reason.  I decided to take some new pictures and do side by sides of my original before pics to see if there has been any progress.

When I first looked at this, I couldn't really see much of a difference.  When I looked closer, I DID see that there is a little less muffin top going on.  I can't see overwhelming progress here, but I CAN see it...kinda.

Now, when I looked at this side by side comparison, I DEFINITELY saw progress.  It is apparent to me that I have firmed up.  I am not even sucking it in or anything.  (Please disregard the laundry and unmade bed in the background...it was still early in the morning.)    So, this comparison made me feel super happy.  I really need to start taking measurements, because that is where I think I am going to see the results I am looking for.  My health issues are gonna make me retain water a lot, so I think the scale is just gonna piss me off for awhile.  

Clothes I wanna buy:

I am trying really hard to do better with my wardrobe.  For years and years I have purchased boring clothes with no pattern and lots of dark colors (AKA fat camouflage).  It is like I have told myself that I do not deserve fun things like patterns and dresses, because who wants to see my fat legs?  I am really trying to do better in this regard.  The truth is that pretty clothes make you feel pretty, thus improving your confidence.  I have been reading a lot of inspiring blogs this summer, and some have proven to me that it is possible to be plus sized and fashionable at the same time.   Sooo, this summer I have been on kind of a dress kick.  I have purchased 4 dresses, which is more than I have purchased in the past 4 years combined.  I got them at amazing, sale prices (I am big on coupons and clearance racks).  I managed to get two Lane Bryant dresses and only pay $10 out of pocket (BOOYAH!).

I actually bought my first maxi dress.  I had never bought them before, because when I put them on I looked like a pregnant whale.  The last time I tried one on, I decided to go a size smaller. Guess what?  No more pregnant whale.  It looked, dare I say, nice.  It never occurs to me to go a size smaller.  I actually bought a dress in an size 14/16.  Granted, it is a cotton dress with stretch, but I will take it!  I pair it with a cardigan, because I am not ready to expose my arms on purpose yet.

Sorry, I am the world's worst selfie-in-the-mirror picture taker.

These are the clothes on my wish list right now:

Ok, I know these are lacking in the color department.  I just really like them.  I seem to be attracted to black and blue.  I can't help myself.  The dresses I bought this summer are bright pink, purple, and salmon colored though.  So, progress has been made.  

1. I just think this is adorable. I found it on the Forever 21 website.  I did not realize until recently that Forever 21 even sold plus sizes.  Yes, I am late to the party...as usual.  Can't say I own anything with polka dots at the moment. You can't tell, but the polka dots are pink.  I am worried it might be too short though. I like the cut.  Another bonus is that it is under $20.
2. This is also Forever 21.  I don't own any shirt dresses.  I just loved the style of this one.. very cute with the belt.  I think this would be good for work.  Again, kinda of worried about length.  
3. Forever 21, again!  You can't see this really well, but it has a little ruffled panel at the top.  I thought this would be super cute paired with black pants and flats for work.  Some jewelry to add some pop would be nice with it, I think.
4. This is a Lane Bryant maxi skirt.  I have been eyeing it for awhile.  I can't bring myself to buy it yet though because it costs over $50.  As per usual, I am waiting for a sale, so I can swoop on in and buy it.  

So what do you think?  Are these lame choices?  Do I need fashion help?  I have no one to shop with, but my husband and he will tell me he likes anything as long as it means we get to leave soon!

Well, that concludes my ramblings.  Congratulations, if you made it to the end!  Have a great weekend!

Jake and Holly's Finish the Sentence...(and some other stuff)...

I loves me a good link up!  They are fun, what can I say?  So, today, I am linking up with Holly and Jake.  

If I had one extra hour in the day...I would probably still avoid putting away laundry.

I wish my name...Had an annoying spelling just to piss people off.  Like "Quartney."


I think anything chevron is...pointy 


My last nightmare...involved cookie dough and a serial killer.  Fat girls have fattening and violent imaginations.


Sometimes...when we touch, the honesty's too much and I have to close my eyes and hide.


My last meal on earth would be...probably the only time in my life where I would have no appetite. Oh, irony... I would probably still binge through a Chinese buffet though -- for shits and giggles.


I would much rather be forced to watch and listen to Michael Bolton's entire catalog via music video than watch one episode of American Idol.


Mayonnaise is raw eggs and oil.  We slather raw eggs and oil on our deli meats. 


10 years ago, I didn't think... Yep, that pretty much sums it up.


Selfishly...I hide my own stash of watermelon in the depths of our fridge, so that my kids don't get their grubby little hands on it.  My watermelon! Mine! (Yes, this is my life.)  I also stash office supplies like this at work for similar reasons.  My computer paper! Mine! 

My favorite show on TV right now...is Breaking Bad.  Cause I work in public education and understand how it may be more appealing to be a drug lord.  Also, have you seen that show on the discovery channel called Naked and Afraid (story of my life) where people have to survive in the jungle naked??  Last week, a lady caught a fish with her lady parts.  NO JOKE.  I think I should probably add that last part to the nightmare section...<shudder> 

And, George Zimmerman...better not own any hoodies...

______________________________________________________________________

That was fun...ok, now time for the aforementioned "and some other stuff..."

1. I am still doing well this week...despite my discouragement documented earlier in the week.  I am now on level 2 of 30 Day Shred and doing pretty darn well.  The cardio intervals kill me though.  Whew!  I have been taking a break from running because I swear when I walk outside I must be standing on the surface of the sun.   I think I may get up and run early tomorrow morning because I do kinda miss it and Marcy has inspired me to roll my chubby butt outta bed and get movin'!
2. Remember that I am now accepting sponsors for my little corner in the blogging world!  My spots cost $5 and $10, but last for 60 days as opposed to the usual 30 featured elsewhere.  I will pimp your blog or business like nobody's biznazz, yo.
3. Yeah, well, that's it.  Happy Thursday, y'all!

So What? Wednesday: July 17th Edition

Before getting started with my So What? Wednesday entry, I am going to make a short plug...

I am now accepting sponsors for my blog.  I am gaining followers each day and my traffic has increased from nearly no readers to about 400 per day.   My ad spaces are reasonable and run for 2 months!  I will give shout outs each month you are a sponsor for not only your blog, but also any social media outlets you wish to promote.  You will also have the option of participating/co-hosting a giveaway once I get one up and running!  Please visit my "Sponsor" page for more details!

Ok, on with the show...

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Linking up with Shannon again at Life After I "Dew" for So What Wednesdays.  I love doing this link up because it allows me to be totally random.  It's just fun to write! Here we goooooooo!  So what if...

1. I just laughed harder than I have all day at an Old Spice soap commercial. (You are the worst architect in the world!) 
2. My living room looks like a toy box threw up in it even though I JUST organized toys a few weeks ago.  
3. My summer vacation is coming to a rapid close.
4. I like Anita more than Natalie on the 30 Day Shred.  Natalie just makes me feel inadequate.  ;)
5. The mountain of dirty laundry in my bedroom is taller than my 3 year old daughter.
6. I have 3 new bosses at work...oy.
7. I got a $100 gift card as a "thank you" for assisting with a scholarship program and now that I have it, I can't find clothes I like to spend it on.  I always find stuff when I am broke.  Figures.. I know I want more clothes though,dang it.
8. I had a list of books to read for the summer and have not read a single one.  I really want to read Inferno by Dan Brown.
9. Now that I have short hair, I wish it was longer again...
10. Walking by the back to school displays make me nauseous.
11. I hate this hot, humid weather.  Kids and I are hanging out indoors this week.  Not ideal, but I don't want copious boob sweat unless I am working out, thank you very much!
12. I am avoiding looking at the sink because of the pile of dishes in it.  Hey, I don't have a dishwasher and I had to go into work and didn't get home until kinda late.  Kinda.  I could have done them, but I wasn't feelin' it.

What are you saying "so what" to this week?

Seriously?

As all of you who have been reading may know, I recently did the Advocare Cleanse.  I haven't really reported back on it because I had mixed feelings about the results.

First, I am going to focus on the positive.  The cleanse tasked me with cleaning up my eating habits.  I was eating within my calorie allowance before, but it included sugar and a lot of processed stuff.  What I can say about the cleanse is that I have a whole new lease on clean eating and I have not turned back. I feel a lot better and more in control with my food, which made it more than worth the effort.

Weight loss? Nope.  I weigh EXACTLY the same as I did when I started.  I know I said that I would be happy with at least getting a handle on my eating...even if there was no weight loss.  I thought that was true, but I am disappointed.  Usually, I lie to myself and say I did everything I was supposed to do, even though I didn't.  In this case, not true.  I ate really well.  I wrote down every morsel.  There may have been days where I did not drink enough water, but I wasn't drastically under the suggested amount per day.  I also exercised a minimum of 4 days out of the week.

This is not something that has just happened with the cleanse.  It happens all. the. time.  I put forth a ton of effort and nothing.  I have been to my doctor and requested blood work to test my thyroid, blood sugar, and hormone levels.  It all comes back normal.

The only thing strange going on with my health is that I get ovarian cysts pretty often.  I have been to my doctor about this too.  It doesn't matter whether I am on or off the pill, they still happen at least once in between each of my cycles.  I have not been diagnosed with PCOS, because I do not have any of the other symptoms associated with it.  Because of the cysts, I am often bloated and retaining water.

I am not trying to be hard on myself.  I am just frustrated, that's all.  I am living healthier than I ever have.   I AM proud of that.  It is just difficult to see the scale frozen.  I refuse to give up though. REFUSE!!  It is just here I am blogging about weight loss and I cannot update my progress page, because, well, there is no progress on the scale.  I have made progress in other areas though, so there is that.

I just wanted to be honest with everyone.  I think it is just as important for readers to read about struggles.  It makes the journey real.  I know when I have read about the struggles of others, I am not happy they are struggling, but I am relieved that I am not alone.

Have any of you experienced any of these issues??

Some New Motivation

I am willing to take motivation wherever I can get it.  I have some new reasons that revealed themselves over the weekend that I thought I would share.

Aidan noticed I was fat.

<GASP> Well, duh, Courtney.  You haven't been wearing some cloak of fat invisibility that you picked up on your last trip to Hogwarts.  If there was one, surely Hagrid would be wearing it.  (Ok, uh, yeah, I like Harry Potter.)

Anyway, he wasn't mean about it.  I was carrying something and my shirt came up a little bit and she saw my belly fat.  He started laughing and said, "Mommy, I can't believe you're fat!"  I knew he did not mean it maliciously and I didn't take it that way.  This kid is the sweetest and he never goes a day without telling me that I am beautiful (seriously, sweetest kid in the history of EVER).   The reason that this is new motivation is because I want to be a positive example to my kids in many areas, but I want one of them to me a healthy lifestyle.  Both of my kids are active, fit kids, and I want to keep it that way.


Amusement Parks

We have season passes to Kings Island.  I love going with the kids and watching them have fun. Quite frankly, I am sick of the belts being tight and the little bar that comes down for safety being so tight against my stomach -- so tight it is uncomfortable.  I also saw a ride this past weekend that I really wanted to ride, but was afraid to because I thought I was probably too fat to ride it.  I was. You and your partner could only weight a total of 275 pounds, and unless Aidan only weighs about 28 pounds, it wasn't happenin'.  So, Aidan had to ride it himself and I stood and watched from the little side gate.  That sucks.

Oh well...to offset that visual of my fat hanging over the safety bar, here are some cute pics from this weekend:

'

Pending Beach Vacation

This is a big one for me.  We have decided that we are definitely going to chip in for a condo with other family members for a Myrtle Beach vacation next summer.  I am super excited because I loved our last vacation there.  My goal?  I want to go to the beach thinner.  I have a little under a year to make some good progress.  I am not expecting to be at goal.  I am just hoping to be well on my way.  I want to wear fun beach clothes like bathing suits and sundresses and feel cute.  I wore all those things the last time, but I had this cloud of insecurity following me...even though no body even cared but me.  I want to be lighter.  "Nuff  Said.

I am linking up with the Motivation Monday Team for the first time today.  I decided it was only appropriate since I am discussing some new motivators in my life!  Happy Monday!

Fess Up Friday

I have some confessions to make

Confession #1: It seems like whenever I get one aspect of my fitness in check, I slack in another area.

We all know there are two basic rules to getting fit -- eating right and getting active.  Yeah, basic, my ass....ANYWAY...

Those of us who are in the thick of all of this know that all of this is much harder than these two rules.  There are mental aspects in both areas that can be a barrier.  The truth? We are our own worst enemy in most cases.

FLASH BACK - 2 WEEKS AGO:

I was getting up early and running nearly every morning.  Some days, I was doing a Jillian DVD in the evenings.  I was doing 2 workouts per day.  I felt great.   The food?  I was doing just ok.  I was not making the healthiest choices.  I would stay within my calorie allotment, but doing so by eating crap.   My "off" food days were sort of offsetting my hard work with exercise.  I was active though and feeling awesome about that.

THIS WEEK

Since doing the Advocare Cleanse (I will update you on all of that soon.), I have been eating great! I have been eating a clean and balanced diet.  I feel great about that.  Guess what, though?  I have not gotten up for my morning runs.  I have done Jillian DVDs, but only twice this week.  I love the feeling I get when I run, so why don't I do it?  I don't know the answer, other than I have been lazy.

I REALLY need to get a handle on this.

Darcy and I after completed 30 Day Shred DVD.  She likes to do it with me...kind of.  

Confession #2: I am still really insecure when I run.

When I go run, I choose hours of the day where there are fewer people out in their yards, fewer kids outside playing, and fewer cars out on the road.  I choose routes that are not as busy with traffic.  I know how ridiculous this sounds.  I really do.  I just can't seem to get over this insecurity.  I am working on it.  I try really hard to say "Screw, everyone else and their opinions about how I look!"   That is really hard though.  I revert back to the scared, timid girl I used to be in high school and, again, I have no idea why.

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I have found that blogging has become one of the best sources of support that I have ever experienced when trying to lose weight.  I don't have hundreds of followers, but those of you who do follow are consistently supportive, and I cannot thank you enough.   I describe myself as a success story in progress and that is exactly what I am.  I am still figuring all of this out.  I have not lost a crazy amount of weight...yet.  I am working on myself as a whole, and I am hoping that by taking this approach, I will see results that I can maintain. 

I saw this quote and really liked it.  It is keeping me motivated:

Rich Courtney

Today, I am linking up with Holly and Kristie.  We all fantasize about what we would do with lottery winnings.  Here are my plans for my fake fortune.  I think you will find there is just enough charity involved to offset the greed.

Pay off my mortgage then donate the house:  I would pay off the mortgage on our current home, fix it with things like a new roof, windows, and carpet.  Then, I would donate it to an organization who could place a family in need in the house they may not have otherwise had.  In my line of work, I work with homeless families on a near daily basis.  I would love to be able to give something nice to a deserving family.  I would also make sure they were set up with some kind of assistance for costs like utilities, etc, until they get on their feet.

Buy my family our dream house:  I wouldn't buy anything so huge that it would not seem like home, but it would have at least 4 bedrooms, a gourmet kitchen,a finished basement, huge closets, and a toy room.  The backyard would have a lovely privacy fence and an in-ground swimming pool.  I may also have guest house out back for when our family visits.  I would hand pick the neighborhood and make sure that it is near the best schools.

Hire a male maid:  Why a male?  Well, in my mind, seeing a man clean (and clean well) is good for the soul.  (hehe)  It won't matter what he looks like, because men who clean are instantly attractive.  He could look like Mr. Bean, but appear as hot as George Clooney as long as he has a feather duster in his hand.

Pay off Debt:  Kind a boring one and a no-brainer.  My biggest pay off would be my student loans for my Master's Degree.  My edumuhcation was 'spensive.

Personal Trainer:  I would pay Jillian Michaels to come to my house and train me her damn self instead of using the DVDs.  At least that way, I could tell her where to stick her plank ups in person.  It would be much more satisfying.

Personal Chef:  I would have someone come and help me plan my healthy meals.  I still like to cook, so they wouldn't have to do ALL the work.  Just do all my planning for me. Cause I obviously suck at it...

Scholarship Fund and College Fund:  Charity time!  I would set up a scholarship fund for students in need.  I would also set something up for adults who want to go back to school or attend for the first time.  What can I say?  I am a guidance counselor.  I eat, sleep, and breathe scholarships during the school year.  I see how they impact lives.  I would love to be a part of that. I would also put back a bunch of money for my own kids and their college education.

Vacation, vacation, vacation!  I would go every-freakin-where.  I would probably start with a tour of Europe.  I would rent a car and drive around the round about in  London repeatedly, just so I could say, "Hey, kids look! It's Big Ben, Parliament..." multiple times.

Voicemail Message:  I would pay Morgan Freeman to do my outgoing voicemail message.  I would make sure he worked in the phrase "titty sprinkles" somewhere...just because.

Those are the best things I could think of.  It would just be really nice to buy whatever the hell I want, when I want it and not have to have buyers remorse.