Learning about myself...

It is a mystery to me how my motivation can fluctuate from highly motivated one day, to having nearly no motivation in me the next.   I mean, I want to be healthier, but I am not always doing what needs to be done in order to get the job done.  See, most people who lose their motivation seem to lie to themselves.  I'm not! So, I am having a really difficult time understanding my behaviors.  As I have reflected this week, I feel like maybe planning is an issue.   You see, I am an ultra busy person (as many of us are).  I am also very much a planner.  Soooo, lack of planning combined with my busy schedule results in haphazard, fly by the seat of my pants behaviors -- especially with food.  My plan this week?  To PLAN.    I have found a nice recipe for a skinny, clean eating version of enchilada casserole.  I am going to make it tomorrow and take it in my lunch this week.  I plan to pair it with lots of healthy veggies, so that I don't get that afternoon crash where I am starving and really don't give a crap what I eat.    I am also going to clean out the fridge and avoid buy foods that are trigger foods for me.  AKA:  No dark chocolate candy bars.  As much as I tell myself that I will only have one square....that just doesn't happen.

Besides my poor planning this week, I DID do a few good things...

This is my standard "Happy Birthday" cupcake from work.  The school year is nearly over and the social committee provides birthday cupcakes to people on their birthdays.  Since my birthday is in the summer, I got mine on Friday.  This delicious looking treat sat on my desk all day and I wasn't even close to tempted to eating it.  One of my students came in salivating over it, so it went to him.  This kid's family has no money and he is lucky to get 3 square meals a day, let alone a special treat.  So, I was more than happy to allow him this indulgence.   I am proud of myself for not instantly devouring this thing.  In the past, I would have.

On the same kind of note, I AM noticing that I am listening to my hunger cues a lot better lately.  I stop eating when I am full.  I don't have this urge to clear my plate no matter what anymore.  That is a just an old behavior learned from childhood, that I have had to work on.  Don't get me wrong, there are still occasions where my plate is cleared, but if I am starting to get full, I stop.

I was alone with both kids for Friday and Saturday.   It was hard not having help (huge credit to the single moms out there!), but I got through it without stress eating.  I love quality time with my kids and we had some much needed mom and kid time. 

We went to a wedding yesterday, and had a nice time.  I got to spend some quality time with my family and I loved every minute of it.  We don't get together all at once often enough.  It was really nice, because we were sitting around a table at the reception, and we had time to sit and catch up -- including a very involved conversation with my dad about awesome TV shows.  I love them all so much, and moments like that help you understand the importance of being around as long as you can for those you love.  It makes you want to do better.  Without even knowing it or without them even trying, they inspire me.  

(From the left: Me, my mother (Cathy), my son (Aidan), my dad (John), my daughter (Darcy), my sister's boyfriend (Scott), and my sister (Carrie)

My sister and I.  I love her!  We don't get together often enough, but when we do we always have fun.  This was our attempt at a "selfie."  We were contemplating mocking those who choose to pose with a "duck face", but we couldn't even bring ourselves to do that in jest.  Instead, we went for the overly enthusiastic look.  I think it turned out cute though!

My attempt to get a cute picture with Darcy.  Unfortunately, I am the only one who looks happy.  She looks ask if she is plotting my death in this one...

So, yeah, great weekend!  I learned a lot about myself this week too.  Looking forward to spending the rest of this long weekend with family.